Being a grown up...

THINGS ARE LOOKING UP FOR ME

2004-09-29T17:05:00.000-07:00

HI EVERYBODY!! I'M BACK. JUST FOR A LITTLE WHILE THOUGH. GUESS WHAT! I GOT A JOB WELL I HAVEN'T STARTED YET BUT I WIIL NEXT WEEK. I AM A PHOTO SPECIALIST. OH AND I'M AT THE FAIR ALL WEEK SO Y'ALL THAT KNOW ME COME LOOK ME UP.I'LL EITHER BE WORKING AT A FOOD STAND OR JUST WALKING AROUND KEEPING AN EYE ON EVERYBODY.(YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN) THINGS ARE GETTING BETTER FOR ME THOUGH. AND I AM IN BETTER SPIRITS. : ) I DON'T WORRY ABOUT EVERY LITTLE THING NOW EITHER. I AM ALOT MORE RELAXED. BECAUSE I HAVE FAITH AND I BELIEVE THAT EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.OK WELL I GOTTA GO NOW BUT I CAN SAY THAT MY BABY GIRL IS GETTING SUPER HUG. SHE IS A FREAKING GIANT. YOU GUYS SHOULD SEE HER SHE IS GORGIOUSE LIKE HER MOMMA USED TO BE. BUT OK THAT'S ENOUGH FOR NOW. MAYBE NEXT TIME I CAN POST A PIC OF HE. WELL WE BOTH SAY BYE! BYE!

The people with two faces

2004-06-30T14:53:00.000-07:00

Why do people like to lie and get in to other peoples business? My husband and his dad got into an argument and his dad told him to get out and find him an apartment. So he stayed home that day and we looked for an apartment. That afternoon we had some things to go do so we came to Dallas. As soon an we got here to drop off my sister my parents came out to tell us that his parents called. My parents said that they were talking a lot of shit about everything we do. And then when Carlos asked his mom she lied to him straight to his face and then we found out that his mom told my parents to slap him if he got an attitude. AND that she was telling everybody that they kicked us out of the house but they never said anything to us they just told us to be home so we could take care of the horses. So now were looking for an apartment again and for real this time were going to move because were fed up with it.

Catching up

2004-05-23T18:36:00.000-07:00

It's me here. I haven't blogged in a while. I don't have access to the internet because I am so far out in the boon-docks. We don't even get regular TV. We had to get satellite. They don't even get cable out there. It sucks!But we are looking for an apartment still. Oh my gosh, graduation yesterday almost made me cry. I wish I wouldn't have messed up and stayed in school, school instead of having to go to Dallas Can. I wish I could have graduated with the class I was supposed to. But I will be ok because I graduated early. And I am very proud to be able to say that I knew the valedictorian and about half of the graduating class. Congratulations you guys! Good luck in the future. And I hope to hear that you guys made to the top where you belong.

SEX...Is it good or bad?

2004-04-26T19:46:00.000-07:00

It's neither! I believe God should have made us be able to reproduce the way turtles do. They never even have interactions. And, BIG PLUS, the man carries the babies on his back until they are ready to leave. So anyways ever since I had my little girl, four months ago, I have no interest in sex. Carlos gets upset about this. He thinks I'm just not interested in him. I can't help it that I have other things on my mind. O don't want to have another baby.It's hard enough with just one. He thinks staying at home with the baby is easy as pie.But thats why he can never do it. He won't even change her pamper. Back to the subject sex has become a problem now in our relationship I feel like if I really love him I should give him whatever he wants to make him happy. So should I still give him some when I don't feel like it? Because I also am scared that if I don't give him what he wants he'll find somewhere else to get it. (you know what I mean) And I don't want to lose him over something like this, but he seems really obsessed over it. Like thats all he thinks about. What should I do???

...Is making me go crazy!

2004-04-22T16:42:00.000-07:00

Money!! Does anybody have any? Cause I sure do need some! I hate this stuff. Being a grown up really is hard. I'm sooo glad that I don't have to buy food for the baby. Well I do bet most of it I get from W.I.C.. I just need to find a job, a cheap apartment, and not spend so much money on food. Because me and my fiance LOVES food! And then Carlos (my fiance) he is probably fixing to lose his job.Because his supervisor doesn't like him and blames everybody else's mistakes on him. The big boss knows that this is going on but he goesn't say anything to the man because he's been with the company for so long. So If anybody has ANY hook-ups let me know.Oh my goodness I forgot that in like two weeks or less we are moving to Wills Point, TX. It's like an hour from here. Hello we don't have any money as it is and Carlos' parents want us to get us a house built or get a little rinky-dink trailer so that we won't have to live with them. And his brother is trying to cheat us out of three hundred dollars that he owes us. You know, I have never seen a family as sneaky as them. All they all do is think about themselves. And they ALWAYS, ALWAYS, want people to do things for them. It drives me crazy!

Look Jerrica!

2004-04-01T03:00:00.000-08:00

Morpheus

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

LOOK WHAT I DID!!!

2004-03-24T21:29:00.000-08:00

Guess what!! I joined Ballies. I'm going to get back skinny for the wedding. If we still get married. But if not hey, I'll look good when I go out to the club.(right?!) I am so proud of myself. I'm going to get a personal trainer Friday or Monday to teach me what I need to do to get the body I want. It is going to be SOO hard. Today I am already sore just from riding one of those bikes. We rode it for 7 miles.And I can barely walk around Kiest Park once.I need more motivation so if you can help go ahead.

Real live Ray Romano

2004-03-23T21:53:00.000-08:00

I was watching the show today. The one where Ray get's sneezed all over. OK. But that's besides the point. I barely realized how much my fiance is like that. He SOOO chooses his mother over me. ANY DAY! Does that mean that he doesn't love me aas much as he says he does? I always come second and she is ALWAYS right. And they both get mad at me when I don't do something for him. He is not a baby. They think that I am supposed to cook, clean, take care of him and the baby, and give him what he wants ALL THE TIME. I guess you could say that they are like that movie Mona Lisa Smile You could call them "traditionallist." Well to bad I ain't like that. And I think that is the reason(most of the time) why we fight. He is always saying do this or give me that. And I ain't going to let him just tell me what to do. I'm grown, I do what I want to, when I want to, and how I want to. I ain't nobody's bitch. And I'm not going to change my ways just for him. I'd rather leave.

GOOD-FUCKING-NIGHT!

2004-03-23T21:36:00.000-08:00

I wish I never would have had my baby. I don't really mean that. I love her to death. I would do anything for her even stay with her dad if I didn't really want to be with him. I love him, too but...........I just don't know some times. Like today, I went to my sister's house after we wnt walking at the park, so that we could do tybo together.(We are trying to lose wieght for my wedding.) And he didn't want to go so he said that he would pick me up later. OK. So then when we got to her house her daughter came out to the truck and told her that someone wanted her on the phone. And when I asked her who it was she didn't say anything.I found out that it was him. He told her not to tell me that he was next door at his friends house.OK. I have to call him and ask him if I can even go with my step-mother to see my grandma. What kind of shit is that. He can't controlle me. And then he told me today that everything is always my fault because I get an attitude all the time for no reason. And that I have to change. HELLO!!!! I DON'T THINK SO!!!! This is the year 2004! The woman don't have to just sit around and shut up and loook pretty all the damn time! Yeah he works all day, but I take care of the baby all day, that is a job too. I don't see him doing it. Any ways I'm sore as hell now. I can't wait until tomarrow. I probably will be twice as sore. Oh yeah, then after we were arguing he got ready for bed and expected me to give him a goodnight kiss. I said GOOD-FUCKING-NIGHT!!

scared forever

2004-03-22T22:10:00.000-08:00

I also don't want to be like my mother. And every little thing scares me. She was in an abusive relationship for four years. And about a year after she left him, He killed her. And they tell you all the warning signs, so that it won't happen to you. But you never know. Some people just explode some times. And I have to be strong and stand up for my self for my baby's sake. I have to set her a good example. I don't want her to grow up like me and think my mom was soo stupid for staying with him and getting beat on a daily basis. I hated having to go through that. Being scared all the time that your mom might not be there one day. Having 911 on speed dial. Being 12 years old and sleeping with a knife under your pillow. I was scared then and I'm still scared now.

Confused about marrage

2004-03-22T22:03:00.000-08:00

We are suposed to be getting married in November. But we aren't even planning anything. I don't really know if I even want to get married now. Lately we have been arguing a lot about stupid little shit and it makes me feel so bad. Because it is always my fault. I even wish sometimes that I never would have had my baby girl. because then I would know for sure if I want to get married because I love Carlos or if it is just for the baby. I don't want to get married for the wrong reasons. But I do believe that once you are married you are married. That person stays with you forever.(untill death do you part at least.) Or unless he cheats on my and I cut him. : )

Baby Headaches...

2004-03-22T20:43:00.000-08:00

...Has anyone ever had one? It's when a baby just cries and cries for no reason because they are confused about what they want. My baby went to spend the night at my cousins house. And when she camr back she was acting like she was so spoilled. She didn't want me to put her down. So finally I just gave up and let her cry.(they need that some times.) and she was there not even two seconds before she had finally cried herself to sleep. She slept for like two minutes and woke right back up. Then after about an hour I put her in her little bouncy thing and put her in front of the TV because she was crying and crying again. And she fell asleep but this time she was barely asleep long enough for me to take a shower. She has been up just about all day so I hope she sleeps really good tonight.

finding an appartment

2004-03-16T13:39:00.000-08:00

THIS IS HARD WORK. IT SUCKS. WE HAVE ALMOST EVERY THING EXCEPT FOR BIG FURNITURE FOR OUR HOUSE. BUT FINDING THE RIGHT PLACE TO MOVE INTO IS HARDER THAN HELL. WE WERE USING THIS COMPANY CALLED PROMOVE BUT THERE ARE SOME CHEAPER APPARTMENTS OUT THERE THAT THEY DON'T KNOW ABOUT BECAUSE THEY ARE GHETTO. BUT NOT THAT GHETTO. WELL IF ANYONE READS THIS AND YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS OR CAN HOOK SOMEONE UP LEAVE ME A COMMENT.

2004-03-13T21:22:00.000-08:00

oh my god i did it!